I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
