i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she peed on how many people?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
