brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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