he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
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I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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