They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
