from now on my penis is your penis
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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