too bad you live with your parents still
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
