perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
