I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
