I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm at about main and main street
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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