This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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