I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
