it wasn't lemon gatorade
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
