And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My bed smells like the plague
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
