Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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