I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
being pregnant is like rehab
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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