Sponge bath it is.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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