I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Boobs speak an international language.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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