I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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