Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
