Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
