You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
