HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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