i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.