the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
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I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.