Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.