Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize