As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
