We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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