can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
