We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
