I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
