So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
