People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
