I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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