how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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