I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize