I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
