Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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