he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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