Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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