my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
