I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
