Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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