I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
