I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
