we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
