Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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