she looked like the bat from fern gully.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
