The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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