Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
