My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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