Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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