After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
