Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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