But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
