I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
