rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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