How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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