her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
