no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
